Mastering Your Emotions

“The long-term pain suffered by suppressing emotions is far greater than the short-term pain of confronting them.”

Sam Owen

As children, most of us men that were raised in Western culture were indoctrinated into a system that teaches us it’s not ok to feel and release our emotions.

We were never taught to access the moving, vibrant energy and magic of our physical bodies. We were never taught how to process and really feel any of the uncomfortable energies.

In school we were sitting, memorizing and not moving nearly as much as we could, should and wanted to. For example, we have all heard the classic phrases ‘toughen up’, ‘be a man, don’t cry’, ‘suck it up’.  These phrases taught us to hold everything in. 

We even subconsciously push down some of the positive emotions like joy, happiness and laughter.  

As a result, as we get older and move into adulthood we’re not very good at assessing what we’re feeling and how we’re feeling. 

Most of us are disconnected from our true selves as we’ve been shamed to show the world who we really are. 

So what is an emotion? 

According to Wikipedia, emotions are mental states brought on by neurophysiological changes, variously associated with thoughts, feelings, behavioural responses, and a degree of pleasure or displeasure. But really, an emotion is an energy that needs to move through our body, that wants to flow through us so we can be present with life, move through life with ease and grace and be able to thrive. 

However we do the opposite – we push and suppress this energy. 

How do we repress our emotions? We hide behind masks. We show the world our accomplishments, our titles, material acquisitions, but do not really show the world our true authentic selves. 

Many of us stay in careers that our parents wanted for us or just for financial reasons and not because we’re pursuing what we are really passionate about. 

We become addicted to Netflix, social media, shopping, drugs, alcohol, porn, sex, power, work, sports – anything to keep us so busy that we keep pushing this energy down. These addictive behaviours keep the emotions from surfacing.

We move from activity to activity with our children, as they begin to learn to stay busy at a young age as well. We never take the time to really just be. 

Repressing emotions is the main cause of anxiety, depression, insomnia and a host of other stress-related illnesses. 

So, men, be brutally honest with yourself. Do you have any addictive behaviours, habits or patterns that are no longer serving you?

Do you take the time to sit, to just be, and check in on how you are feeling on a regular basis?

If we want to fully evolve, have meaningful relationships, deep relationships, find our true purpose, perform at our peak and feel truly happy and content, we need to learn how to really feel this emotional energy.

This can be frightening for many of us men, to open ourselves up to the world.

We need to learn embodiment practices, as well as learning to sit and process how we are feeling, and to become aware of what we are holding onto and how to release these energies. 

You may need the assistance of a mentor, guide or coach to help you work through this process – and that’s ok. We all need a safe place and someone we trust to help guide us as we start to uncover the layers we’ve been holding on to.

The good news is once you learn some embodiment practices and access the divine wisdom, calm and intelligence of your body, you will really begin to heal and grow, and your life will transform. You will no longer be a slave to your addictions and find true emotional freedom. 

Here are a few books that may help you.

When The Body Says No: The Cost Of Hidden Stress, By Dr. Gabor Mate

Permission to Feel: The Power of Emotional Intelligence to Achieve Well-Being and Success, By Marc Brackett

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, By Michael Singer

If this article sparked inspiration and questions, don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m here to help you on your journey.